Guess What?

preg pointing with HEART final

We’re having another baby!

And oh, you guys – I’m so excited. It feels really different this time around. J came about while we were both students keeping bizarre hours and subsisting on peanut-butter apples in a tiny little cooker of an attic apartment. We were very happy, but it was also so unknown and I was pretty caught up just trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. And I’m afraid I took for granted how easily I got (and stayed) pregnant. But now I know, a) how heart-explodingly awesome kids can be, and, b) how super fragile it all is…


Although I know we haven’t had the incredible struggle that so many dear souls have (so very much ♥ to you), I had a miscarriage last March. Ooh, I was shocked and so sad. It felt like I grew up five years in a week. Suddenly I was ashamed to have joked so lightly about getting “knocked up” with J. Cringe. I don’t mean to be a downer, just to say – did it ever put this delightful, twinkling gift into perspective. Wow.

So sure, I’m way more nervous this time, but I’m also – and I never quite understood this phrase before – over the moon! An on-and-off ball of worries, yes, and I’m pretty darn sure we’re gonna be a little in over our heads, but I’m also so, so stoked. My heart is all a-flutter!


I’m 20 weeks along now, and although I can’t quite kick the nerves, all is looking well! J is crazy sweet about the babe. I swear, I never told him to, but he kisses my belly regularly and says “I love my baby!” And I promptly become a pile of melted Elena.


I’ve been thinking lots about the practicalities of growing a family – I think it’s Nesting 2.0. I’ve become extremely into families living in small spaces, where 2+ kids share a room. I get especially excited if there happens to be a loft bed over a crib, even though that’s a while off. Do you have any good tips on baby+toddler room sharing? I can’t get enough. 🙂


I’ve also been reflecting a lot on different family constellations, speculating about how things might pan out for our little fam. Have you ever come across any research on birth order? It’s interesting stuff! Achim and I are both 2nd borns – each in the middle of two sisters, though I’ve got a baby bro too. Middle children are supposed to be big negotiators, and it’s certainly true that we do a lot of talking things out, sometimes it’s ridiculous. I actually don’t think either of us is capable of going to bed angry!

With my second little babe in mind, I’ve been thumbing through this book on birth order, family dynamics and creativity – just for fun! A few intriguing bits:

– Later borns tend to be more more altruistic, empathetic and socially-oriented than their high achieving, academic first born counterparts.

– They’re more likely to question authority and resist pressure to conform to the majority – they are our revolutionaries!

– They’re a little riskier – for example, they’re more inclined towards dangerous sports.

– Later borns favour a large variety of interests – they’re the jacks & jills of all trades among us.

– Lastly, free of the pressure we often put on our hard-working first borns (poor J… gotta watch out for that!), later borns get to be the sociable and fun-loving ones!


Of course none of that’s a given. There are a whole lotta factors that come into play and can change things up completely. Still – it’s interesting, no? My older sister and I were talking and we definitely felt like we could see our family in those tendencies. She was such an achiever, she even skipped grade 12 and went straight to university! And then there’s me, the wandering bleeding heart, and our wild little sister, diving headlong off cliffs and bucking authority since she was just tiny.

Risky little revolutionary or not, I can’t wait to meet this babeloo! It’s going to be a ride. I’m sure some babymama topics will arise over the next few months, but if you’re all babied out (how ’bout that facebook feed, 30-somethings?), don’t worry, I’ve still got plenty of other stuff lined up.

Have a wonderful weekend!

xo
Elena

p.s. Thanks to my main man Achim for the home photoshoot! Lol, it was a first for us – save that very stressful 20 minutes we spent trying to get a reasonable Christmas pic. I’m definitely feeling a touch self conscious (what’s with the hand in the back pocket there?! Awwwkward…), but ahhh whaddayagonnado? I think he did a great job.

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15 thoughts on “Guess What?

  1. Johanna

    What a great post!! I think the photos look AWESOME. So excited for all of you.

    Tye is definitely- in some ways- the youngest sibling. In other ways, gawd, he’s still more practical and responsible than I am, but I think that has more to do with me being a Skoreyko 😉

     
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  2. Alison Logan

    Hey Elena!
    Sweet post! Congratulations to you and your family on your expected new addition. Sounds like we are due around the same time! I like your comment about the 30-something’s on facebook. My feed is full of baby announcements but yours is definitely different and special with such a personal take on pregnancy. Seems as if you take it much more gracefully than I do. Haha.

    Great photographs. You look so beautiful!

     
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    1. Elena

      Hi Alison! Oh my gosh, congratulations – awwww your babies are going to be so close together, that is wonderful! I think it’s of course intense at first but then having two peas in a pod is ideal – my sister and I were 18 months apart and we just playyyed and playyyyyyed… my mom did not have to do the intense mommy/play companion that I’m rockin here with J, anyway, lol. You know what is kind of sweet? I have this certain affinity to all the women I know – near and far – who had babies at the same time as I had J. I followed along with their pregnancies at the same time as mine, and now I’ll do the same with you! especially since you take such beautiful photos 🙂

      And – oh, don’t kid yourself, I do my fair share of whining!! I may be delighted that I am pregnant, but trust me there are many, ahem, facets of being pregnant that I don’t particularly adore, and I’m not terribly quiet about it. 😉

       
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  3. Tara

    Elena, you are 20 weeks already! wow I am so so happy for you, Achim and Jonah. The most joyous thing about the second baby I found is watching the sibling love evolve. Any worry I had about dividing my attention, and “loving enough” vanished when I saw how their love for each other is something parents can’t even touch. It’s like they belong to each other. Even when Des is being rough with Zooey, she forgives him way before I do, I am still in the middle of correcting the behaviour and she is back to chasing him with love in her eyes.
    I can’t wait for future bunk beds!!! 🙂
    omg I just noticed the hand in the back pocket after reading!!! LOL you crack me up.

     
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    1. Elena

      That sounds so wonderful, Tara! “Like the belong to each other” – that’s so gorgeous and so totally my dream! You’ve got it made, sister. I hope with every inch of my heart that my little ones have that too! 🙂

      Plus that’s really comforting, about not having to have worried about dividing attention. xo

       
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  4. ChiaraM

    Elena, so exciting! Congratulations. We just had our first and it’s exciting, I can’t wait for a bigger family, it will be fun to follow along with you on your blog.

    All three of my inlaws who have two kids have them sleeping in the same room, although they all transitioned to this at at least 1 year. I don’t know how they did it, but I do know it’s important to all of them, and I’m sure it will work out. Cute story: one of my nephews will often call out for mom or dad after being put to bed, but before going to sleep and he’ll need a glass of water (and probably one last cuddle) and his older brother who shares the room has started to get his water for him. So cute.

     
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    1. Elena

      Chiara, thank you for the comment! I’ve been following your pregnancy – oh my, huge congratulations!! That is a wonderful story about your nephews too. Basically my dream! You know what, I shared a room with my sister until I was 5, and we even shared a bed for our first few years. After we got our own rooms, we slept in one another’s rooms, and beds even, whenever we got a chance. Even now, when we go home, if we happen to be without our husbands, we share a bed! Lol. It seems kind of natural to me – like a litter of kittens all snuggled together :). That said, I don’t know how to do it, either! It seems to me they will be constantly waking each other up! We shall see!

       
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    1. Elena

      Thanks, Maja! Oh I wish you could come over for coffee and appreciate my treasures and decorating, knowing what sketchy conditions I once lived in! 🙂

       
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  5. Shannon

    So happy for all of you! Congratulations 😀 You look lovely… I honestly didn’t notice the hand-in-pocket due to your radiantly glowing face and luscious hair 🙂 You and Jonah look great.
    Bisous xoxoxoxo

    PS. So that’s where I get the ‘talk it out syndrome’…haha.

     
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    1. Elena

      Aww, thanks for the comment, sweet Shannon! And yes, sister – we come by it honestly! I would say you are indeed a perfect example of a later born/middle child! xox

       
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  6. tina

    Ooooh, congratulations! I already adore your little family on IG, and now you have one more on it’s way. Wii, so glad on your behalf!

    It’s funny how pregnancy starts your mind. I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately – I would love to become a mom as well. However, I myself have a combined depression/concussion (not the most perfect platform) – and my sister has a chromsone disorder, and I haven’t even gone around to check, if I have a risk on handling it over to my coming child. Guess I’ve been doing a lot of “hiding my head in the bush”. But seeing your photos and reading your text make me realize, that there is so much more to making the decision (and hopefully succeeding) – there is so much nice stuff to think about instead. Maybe I should do that more <3

    PS: You look so preeeeeety <3

     
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    1. Elena

      Dear Tina, oh! Thank you so much for trekking over from IG and for your beautiful, thoughtful comment! I feel you, sister. There is so much unknown when it comes to pregnancy – so many maybes, and possible things to worry about – it feels so important to be “smart” when making this decision, but then it’s so hard to get to the point of “now is a good time.” Honestly, I’m not even sure if that perfect situation I was looking for exists. You are so right though – whenever I get too caught up worrying, I spend some time with my little sunshine monkey and focus on the gorgeous parts of it all! And I feel so much better. xox

       
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  7. Bia

    WOW ! CONGRATULATIONS ! THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL news ! THIS IS FIRST TIME I’M reading about it ! I have to appolagize! we didn’t say anything to you ( like: congrats! we wish you and the baby an easy carry throughout ) or to Achim ( like : eiiii! another little german cousin!!!! ) or to Jonah ( remeber that pebble you left in my bedroom? I still have it! I named it Joy and I can’t wait to give it back to you when you come visit with your little sister?! or brother?!)
    Anyways , lots and lots of love from us!
    Bia , Josh , Elise , Lynne , Richard , Jeremy , Jessie and Sylvia!
    PS : I totaly dig the back pocket hand tuck !

     
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    1. Elena

      Lol, awwww thanks so much, Bianca! We are so delighted! Almost 26 weeks now and so far so good, thank heavens! I absolutely LOVE that you kept the pebble and named it joy! How perfect, that makes me so happy. We think of you often here, and are really going to try and come visit you again as soon as we can. So much love from all of us! xo

       
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