February 19, 2015
We’re having another baby!
And oh, you guys – I’m so excited. It feels really different this time around. J came about while we were both students keeping bizarre hours and subsisting on peanut-butter apples in a tiny little cooker of an attic apartment. We were very happy, but it was also so unknown and I was pretty caught up just trying to wrap my head around the whole thing. And I’m afraid I took for granted how easily I got (and stayed) pregnant. But now I know, a) how heart-explodingly awesome kids can be, and, b) how super fragile it all is…
Although I know we haven’t had the incredible struggle that so many dear souls have (so very much ♥ to you), I had a miscarriage last March. Ooh, I was shocked and so sad. It felt like I grew up five years in a week. Suddenly I was ashamed to have joked so lightly about getting “knocked up” with J. Cringe. I don’t mean to be a downer, just to say – did it ever put this delightful, twinkling gift into perspective. Wow.
So sure, I’m way more nervous this time, but I’m also – and I never quite understood this phrase before – over the moon! An on-and-off ball of worries, yes, and I’m pretty darn sure we’re gonna be a little in over our heads, but I’m also so, so stoked. My heart is all a-flutter!
I’m 20 weeks along now, and although I can’t quite kick the nerves, all is looking well! J is crazy sweet about the babe. I swear, I never told him to, but he kisses my belly regularly and says “I love my baby!” And I promptly become a pile of melted Elena.
I’ve been thinking lots about the practicalities of growing a family – I think it’s Nesting 2.0. I’ve become extremely into families living in small spaces, where 2+ kids share a room. I get especially excited if there happens to be a loft bed over a crib, even though that’s a while off. Do you have any good tips on baby+toddler room sharing? I can’t get enough. 🙂
I’ve also been reflecting a lot on different family constellations, speculating about how things might pan out for our little fam. Have you ever come across any research on birth order? It’s interesting stuff! Achim and I are both 2nd borns – each in the middle of two sisters, though I’ve got a baby bro too. Middle children are supposed to be big negotiators, and it’s certainly true that we do a lot of talking things out, sometimes it’s ridiculous. I actually don’t think either of us is capable of going to bed angry!
With my second little babe in mind, I’ve been thumbing through this book on birth order, family dynamics and creativity – just for fun! A few intriguing bits:
– Later borns tend to be more more altruistic, empathetic and socially-oriented than their high achieving, academic first born counterparts.
– They’re more likely to question authority and resist pressure to conform to the majority – they are our revolutionaries!
– They’re a little riskier – for example, they’re more inclined towards dangerous sports.
– Later borns favour a large variety of interests – they’re the jacks & jills of all trades among us.
– Lastly, free of the pressure we often put on our hard-working first borns (poor J… gotta watch out for that!), later borns get to be the sociable and fun-loving ones!
Of course none of that’s a given. There are a whole lotta factors that come into play and can change things up completely. Still – it’s interesting, no? My older sister and I were talking and we definitely felt like we could see our family in those tendencies. She was such an achiever, she even skipped grade 12 and went straight to university! And then there’s me, the wandering bleeding heart, and our wild little sister, diving headlong off cliffs and bucking authority since she was just tiny.
Risky little revolutionary or not, I can’t wait to meet this babeloo! It’s going to be a ride. I’m sure some babymama topics will arise over the next few months, but if you’re all babied out (how ’bout that facebook feed, 30-somethings?), don’t worry, I’ve still got plenty of other stuff lined up.
Have a wonderful weekend!
p.s. Thanks to my main man Achim for the home photoshoot! Lol, it was a first for us – save that very stressful 20 minutes we spent trying to get a reasonable Christmas pic. I’m definitely feeling a touch self conscious (what’s with the hand in the back pocket there?! Awwwkward…), but ahhh whaddayagonnado? I think he did a great job.